Virulent Contagious Disease Still Rampant on Playgrounds

Last night John and I learned that five-year-old boys still , after all these years, get cooties from girls who kiss them. Jack asked me how long cooties stay on someone, and I didn't really know, so I told him "less than a second." I can find no information about cooties from the Centers for Disease Control. What have those people been doing?

So, left to our own folk remedies, I suppose we must continue to contain the menace with those low-tech devices made out of notebook paper, folded in such a way that the forefingers and thumbs can be inserted and moved inside the device to "catch" the vermin without having to touch them. Generally, I believe children in the upper elementary grades are proficient in making these and passing the knowledge down, usually during math class.