Swarthmore, PA: Jack and Will, two brothers about to turn seven and five, reported that their parents gave a Capt. Underpants birthday party on Saturday. "It was great!" they shouted, chocolate cake crumbs on their faces, a trail of popcorn indicating their recent whereabouts. "Everyone we invited came!" reported the dazed mother. There were unconfirmed reports that one attendee out of eleven (including Jack and Will) was a girl. Whatever she was, her basketball and football skills were noteworthy, as was her ability to join in a pickup soccer game with seven-year-olds. Mr. S, the father of Jack and Will, said that his wife forgot whether Talking Toilets were evil or not, leading to confusion regarding the Talking Toilets game. "How could you forget they're evil?" he asked rhetorically. "But 70 percent of U.S. residents think there were weapons of mass destruction, so I guess it's no wonder."
"Thank goodness the weather was fine and they could send them outside to play in the leaves," murmured one mother who stayed to help. "It was getting very loud in their house." One child, reportedly named Fluffy Diaperbrain, hadn't been feeling well and came just in time to eat the cake. He didn't want any, moped around and would not wear his extremely fun nametag or prance about wearing personalized underpants on his head. He said nobody would play with him. The other four-year-old, Slimy Picklebuns, was also out of sorts once the crowd had been banished to the backyard wilderness, but after his mother gave him a pep talk by the shed, where he was hiding, he was decidedly more cheerful. He and Fluffy were completely recovered by the time they received their party favors.
All departed at the prescribed 4:00 ending time, after which point there was rumored to be a late fee of a dollar per minute. No damage worse than cake and popcorn on the floor has been reported as of this time. The Sea Monkeys(TM), a birthday gift from the young Slimy Picklebuns, have yet to hatch.